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What Happened to Facebook? And How Tufting Could Save It (and Mark)

ateljeepiccolo

Remember when Facebook was a fun place? Back when people shared photos of their brunch plates, and your relatives' political opinions didn’t make you consider becoming a hermit? Well, those days are long gone. Mark Zuckerberg’s creation has spiraled into a nosedive, and along with it, a large part of its user base—particularly women.

But wait! Before we declare Facebook dead and Zuckerberg the modern-day Icarus, let’s ponder: what if things had gone differently? What if Mark had discovered... tufting?

Zuckerberg, Masculinity Worship, and the Forgotten Women

In recent years, Mark Zuckerberg has been busy crafting a new public persona. You could call him the "warrior of the metaverse," but that might sound too cool. In reality, he comes across more like someone who spends too much time lurking in questionable Reddit threads, preaching how the metaverse will change the world—while its users awkwardly bounce around on their virtual legs.

The metaverse is Zuckerberg’s great love, but its aesthetic and marketing seem to appeal mainly to tech-obsessed men who view 3D avatars as the pinnacle of modern masculinity. Women? They’ve been left to watch from the sidelines as this digital “boys’ club” takes shape.

And let’s talk about Facebook for a moment. If you’re a woman who has tried to engage in conversations without being interrupted, doubted, or outright threatened, you’ve probably noticed that Zuckerberg’s algorithms aren’t doing you any favors. Despite promises to fight hate speech, Facebook still feels like the Wild West—except with fewer cowboy movies and more train wrecks.

If Mark Had Tried Tufting…

But what if things had gone differently? What if Mark Zuckerberg had discovered tufting? If you’re unfamiliar, tufting is a soothing and addictive craft where you create soft rugs and wall hangings. It’s like meditation, but the end result is something beautiful and practical—unlike Zuckerberg’s metaverse, which mostly causes headaches and questions like, “Why doesn’t my avatar have proper legs?”

Tufting could have given Mark the chance to slow down and reflect on life more deeply. As you press a tufting needle through the fabric, you can feel the stress melt away and creativity flow in. Maybe he would have realized that instead of trying to build a digital world where women don’t feel welcome, he could focus on improving the one we already have. And hey, who wouldn’t want a soft tufted rug on their office floor?

How Tufting Could Save Facebook

What now? Maybe Meta could allocate part of its marketing budget to promoting tufting. Picture this: tufting groups on Facebook where users share their creations, compare techniques, and build the kind of community that social media was originally meant to foster!

And best of all, tufting could symbolize Zuckerberg’s personal transformation. He could shift from masculinity worship and techno-utopianism to a softer, more practical approach. "Mark Zuckerberg: From Metaverse to Mats." Now that’s a story we’d want to follow.

So Mark, if you’re reading this (and why wouldn’t you—it’s the internet, after all, so it’ll reach you eventually): get a tufting frame and give it a try. Maybe you’ll find the answers the metaverse couldn’t provide.


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